Of the things I put on my To Do List before I head to Africa for the holidays, one item was to write a blog post. But, I’ve been unable to come up with much to commit to the web. So, instead of writing some epic piece, I decided to simply share a little of what’s been on my mind as we near the end of the year 2015.
This has been, without a doubt, the best year of my life. If I had known all along life could be this good, I would never have questioned hanging in there when it got as tough as it did so many times in the past. This year I moved closer to consistent happiness than I ever have before. This had to do first and foremost with choosing happiness on a daily basis. But secondly, my inner joy became an exercise in deciding to trust myself, to believe that I was smart and talented, that I know what’s best for me over anyone else at this point in my life. To that end, I decided to stand up for myself. If I was being hurt or treated poorly by someone this year, I finally learned to stop being a punching bag for that person. This year I confronted and in some cases cut off people who did not have my best interest at heart. I stopped being ashamed of myself and the things I believe in. I know this sounds funny for a thirty-six year old man to say, but I decided to like who I am and who I’m becoming. And I decided I will no longer surround myself with people who aren’t interested in helping me achieve my best most unique and spectacular-self. Nor am I going to pander to anyone who chooses ignorance and exploitation over exploration and intelligence especially when it comes to this beautiful planet that needs our vigilance and care to keep it spinning at optimal health for the generations to come.
This year, I fell in love for the first time with someone who loves me back exactly the way I love him. I was once told water seeks its own level and the reason I hadn't found a successful romantic relationship was because I hadn't met my match. Well, this year I said “No" to guy after guy after guy. I decided to keep looking and looking and looking until I found someone on my level. And I have to admit, towards the end of summer, I acquiesced to the idea that maybe finding someone just right for me might never happen. And I made peace with that. Then one night a guy came along that I just couldn’t say no to. And I intend to keep saying “Yes" to him for as long as he'll have me.
This year I saw my personal writing grow in all sorts of ways on top of producing and writing the fantastic MTV series Finding Carter. I began in earnest on my second novel. I wrote my first sci-fi spec script. I wrote my first period piece. And I am working on a television spec that I like to think of as simply poetry, which I'll release to the world at some point in 2016. Maybe none of these projects will see the light of day, but the possibility seems good that every single one of my teleplay babies may be coming to a flatscreen near you. As always, no matter what, I just keep writing.
I couldn’t be more thankful to my friends who put up with my long disappearances when I tuck myself away to recharge my juices in typical introvert fashion. And I love those same friends for being by my side on the most glorious nights I’ve ever experienced under fireworks and laser beams and thousands of stars from Coachella to New York City to my backyard. My greatest prayer is that everyone can find their people in this life the way I have found mine.
My hope in the year ahead is that I live each day accepting more souls for who they are and their individual journeys through this life. I pray I judge less but stand firm when my convictions are at odds with those who would choose fear and hate over love and peace.